stranded

our second attempt at IUI has failed.

this round has really made me think. i've never been a devout believer. in "God". i'm a firm believer in fate. probably 95% fate, 5% karma. or 95% fate, 4% karma, 1% juju. which is interesting: i grew up in the bible belt of america. my mother, while she doesn't go to church, prays and believes strongly in god. my dad was catholic. until he divorced. but even then, he still appreciates the faith and would likely go back if it weren't for the whole divorce thing. after all, he and his ex-wife raised 2 children in catholicism during their 25+ years of marriage. all my friends growing up always went to church, every sunday morning. for a time it was something i desired, but i believe now it was more of a peer pressure fad, not a pure quest for "supreme guidance". that's not to say that i don't believe in god. he may be up there, i don't know. but religion in general, in my opinion, is bullshit. it's a very clever way to keep people in line, to get them to conform. and damn if it doesn't work like a charm!

it goes without saying - if you believe in something, more power to you. far be it from me to deprive you of that belief, especially if it helps you through your day. and who knows, you may be right! i may be "lost". and by extension, royally screwed. on the other hand, i may be right.

in my profession, i've seen some truly heinous things. things that should never happen to another human, regardless of their past indiscretions. things that make me question if there really is a god. or if we're on a path, and that path changes depending on the decisions we make along the way. another example: soul mates. that's bullshit. i believe that with each day, we're faced with decisions. some are big, some are minute. but they all form that path. and somewhere along that path is someone who reinforces those decisions you've made along the way. for instance, take my own marriages. my first marriage was the result of not wanting to be alone. i didn't want to get married, but i'd decided myself off onto this tangent, and the only valid choice was to get married. he reinforced my life's choices up to that point. likewise, look at dave. i became a totally different person when i moved to LA. healthier, smarter in my choices, stronger. i discovered myself again in athletics, specifically triathlon, and made the decision to jump back into that lifestyle. right on time, i met dave at my first group ride.

my massage therapist, as well as her family, is mormon. her family recently experienced the very sudden loss of a family member. most likely an MI at the age of 41. their approach to death has been interesting to hear about. mormonism - that one's always mesmerized me. i had a friend once who was LDS (likely FLDS, can't remember for sure). she actually escaped from town the night before she was set to marry her 76 year old uncle. she was 14 at the time.

what's got me stumped is, when you're not a firm believer, or you're not really sure what you believe in at all, what happens when shit hits the fan? what do you do? do you pray? who do you pray to? obviously crying and mourning comes with the territory, but when it's time to pick yourself up, when you're not strong enough on your own, how do you get the fuck up off the floor?

it's times like this when religion makes perfect sense to me. but lately, i've also seen it as a crutch. it would be incredibly easy for me to ask "God" to help me right now. but if i don't firmly believe, it's a moot point as well as hypocritical. where does that leave me? stranded. and believers would say it's by choice, by stupidity possibly.

3rd anniversary

yesterday was the third anniversary of my "accident". i wonder if i'll ever lose the air quotes when i make that statement. probably not until i lose the anger regarding the event, huh?

the irony: my CPA needs more info about all of it, so today i find myself digging into the massive file that was those months and months. receipts, doc visit summaries, bills, attorney correspondence. it's all very weird. i'm completely objective until i come to the police report. "it looked like she flew five feet in the air" and "I asked what her name was, she replied Charrissa Jones. She knew her date of birth as well but was unsure of where she was. She was also unsure of the date. We asked if she hit her head. She replied 'I think so, I don't know'. It was later determined by UCLA medical staff (ICU) that P/2 suffered brain trauma (bleeding on the brain) as a result of the accident." yeah, those bring me to tears every time.

i still wonder about that day. what was that asshole so mad about? did he have a fight with his wife/girlfriend/significant other? did he get called into work and was angry about that? what caused his road rage? and even now - what happened to him? does he still work for that company? did he get fired? did he suffer at all because of his actions, or did he just get reprimanded for a day or two and return to work like nothing ever happened? does he have remorse at all for being a total jackwad, for being such an incredible ASSHOLE that his actions caused me permanent disfigurement?

i didn't want to ride that day. i didn't feel like it, and i had a crappy feeling about the whole thing in general. but we'd already driven all that way to the site, and if nothing else we'd go for a little spin and then go back home. i even shot a message to my coach halfway through the ride, telling him about my knee pain. he told me to stop. but i had to get back down to the car, so i had to keep going a bit longer. to this day when i get that same foreboding feeling, it's really hard for me to just swallow it and get out anyway. it's only happened twice, and both times i went out. the first time i ended up in tears on the side of the road and had to call my mom and talk me down in order to get back home. the second time it happened, dave was waiting for me when i got home and it seemed like no big deal. progress i guess!

this past wednesday, the day before my anniversary, a kindergarten teacher and mother of 4 was traveling (cycling) through Usury Pass here in phx. a 72 year old woman driving down the road crossed the center line, forced an oncoming car off the road. she corrected, and hit the cyclist, killing her instantly. she didn't stop, didn't even put on the brakes (per report), and proceeded on down the road. 6 miles later, she t-boned a honda truck in the intersection of McKellips and Ellsworth, killing the other driver on impact. in a matter of 20 minutes, a 72 year old lady killed 2 people. she's listed as critical but expected to survive. our triathlete/cycling community has come out in force, it seems. the Not One More foundation offers assistance to surviving family, and survivors in any way possible. but still, i cried. i have no doubt there is something medically wrong with this 72 year old woman, because witnesses report her erratic driving. but it feels very weird to be so angry with a grandmother, most likely, that you want her to rot in jail for the few years she likely has remaining. is this a normal feeling? probably no. the latest update reports she's from Payson, and last night I found myself looking her up. it's highly likely that in such a small town, her family owns/runs a big company that carries her last name. i also found a man possibly associated with her (her husband i'd guess) due to his age. maybe he's her husband, maybe he's her brother or cousin. what are they going through right now? there will be lawsuits, without question. are they trying to scramble now, obtaining an attorney to figure out how not to lose the family business, their house, their lives?

so often we have those moments where we're incredibly angry at the world, or our spouse, or our job situation, or our kids. whatever the cause, during that time of anger, we're likely to find ourselves on the road, in control of a 2-5 ton machine. i get road rage. i get irrationally angry when people cut me off. in CA, it was a daily way of life, and the morning commute rarely ended without flipping someone the bird. out here in AZ, life's a bit more calm, and you always have to worry that your bird message would receive gunfire in response. the fact of the matter is, it only takes one second. it takes one second to shatter someone else's life, and by extension, many other people attached to both sides.

i don't have a point here, really. well, maybe i do. think twice. err on the side of caution. if you're unsure, just wait a second. because you never know what might happen if you don't. you never want to be wishing that you would've killed yourself instead of that other person. that's a terrible thing to have to live with for the rest of your life.

race report - ragnar del sol

I emailed the following race recap to a dear friend. Instead of typing it all over again, I've copied it here. I may do endurance races, but in most other aspects of my life, I'm damn lazy.

 If you care to look, I was runner 5 http://www.ragnarrelay.com/race/delsol/course_maps. 

Plain and simple: Ragnar was gnarly for me. 

My first leg (6.8) was in backcountry on pavement, slow/gradual downhill all the way but it was very slight and I didn't feel it at all. I couldn't find a good interval that worked. At one point I thought I'd just let my body decide what it should be, and I ran for 4 min straight. Shortly after that I cracked. The road is very curvy, so the entire run the shoulder had a severe slope to it. Not long into it and my bad knee started bothering me. I've discovered on runs that if I turn in that foot ever so slightly and try to really land mid foot I can get it to stop hurting. And I don't even have to do that the whole run, somehow that resets it and I can finish out without pain. Well, I tried it here, and before I knew it my knee pain was gone but the top of my hip was hurting badly. I thought it was bone for some reason, but afterwards when I stretched I realized it was my first IT band experience. Never had issues with my IT. 

my van's boys after the first leg

My unsupported second leg (5.7) started about midnight, so we had all day to figure out an alternate plan. I decided to take my cell with me, and I'd go as far as I could. From there the guys could finish my leg for me. The first 1.5 miles or so were trail, and I'd do my run/walk but during every walk portion I'd stop and stretch my IT band. I held my 1/3 pretty well and the guys stopped frequently where they weren't supposed to, always ready to take over. Somehow that run was nothing short of glorious. I had my phone so I played my music out loud. About halfway through I felt rocks in both my shoes, on the sole but towards the outside edge of both feet. I stopped and shook out my shoes - quite a feat without falling over. Nothing came out of either, so I decided I must've run so long with them that they'd embedded themselves into my socks. Taking those off would require sitting down, and with my IT pain I knew that wouldn't be pretty, so I just kept on. The pain wasn't too bad anyway.

so happy to see this sign at almost 2am

I finished out that leg on my own and was totally elated. When I got in the van, I took off my socks and shoes only to discover the biggest blisters I've ever seen. Probably 3-4cm by 8-9cm. One of them was a blood blister and the other just a regular blister. I even shocked the guys in my van, and one of them is a cop. 

After finishing our second legs, we spent a whole 2 hours at a community center in Anthem. It was probably one of the coolest parts about the whole thing, and that list is long. They had some warm food for sale, along with "hot" showers. They weren't hot for me, should've asked for my $3 back. In the gym, they'd turned out the lights, and scattered across the floor were probably 100 people sleeping in sleeping bags. Dave and I officially rang in our first wedding anniversary in sleeping bags on a gym floor. Awesome. 

exhausted, but elated all at the same time

Between that leg and morning, we stopped and got supplies at a grocery store. Dave got moleskin, I got the Bandaid blister covers. They were too little - wouldn't cover either blister. And Dave decided that the blood one needed to be popped so he did that in the parking lot. Then he covered it with the Bandaid cover and then moleskin. The other one didn't have a ton of fluid so he just put moleskin over it.

My last leg (4.7) supposedly partially unsupported but we ignored that. The first 2 miles are up. And I knew I was tired, and I had no idea how the pain would be with both feet wrapped, not to mention my IT band was still raging. I walked all the way up those 2 miles. Once I got to the part where it rolled a bit, I'd try to jog a little. Had to stop frequently to stretch out the IT. About 2.5 miles in I decided the pain was coming from the tightness of the wraps on my feet. Luckily a guy was stopped in his van waiting for their runner, and I yelled at him to ask for help. He came over. I told him that I needed him to rip off the moleskin, and to do it as quickly as possible, and that it would likely make me yell. He told me he was a medic in his day job, and that he'd do it as fast as possible. He had this amazing way of literally holding my body up while also tending to my foot. He ripped it off and I yelled, very loudly. That was impressive pain. I immediately threw my sock back on and thanked him. He told me the blister had popped so now it was only going to sting for the rest of the run. I can handle stinging. Once I crested the next hill Dave and my van were waiting for me. Dave had this look that told me everything - they wanted to pull me. I was doing very little jogging, and I was in a lot of pain. I told him all I needed was for him to rip off the other bandage. I'd felt some pressure release from the other one and I needed it done. Poor Dave. He was beside himself. But he knew he couldn't take me off that course without my wanting it. He took off the bandage, it didn't hurt quite as bad, and he wanted to redress it. I refused and just threw my sock and shoe back on. They stopped another mile down the road and Dave walked with me for a few strides, but he was too sore after his final leg and couldn't keep my walking pace. Then my Garmin died so I had no idea how much longer. Fuck you, Garmin. I got to a place where my jog was painful but I couldn't get much clearance between the ground and my injured IT band foot. I also knew my form was horrid and the pain wouldn't let me gain any flexibility. Instead of risking more injury due to crappy form, I walked. I couldn't even do the Ironman Shuffle! So I just walked, and even then stopped all the time to stretch. My leg finishes inside a park, so I had to go uphill into that. And I was a bit embarrassed that both vans for my team were there waiting for me, watching me walk. They did a tunnel for me into transition though, so I let it go and was happy for the support. 

That leg was the worst experience I've had in an athletic event. The pain was impressive. Dave and I have discussed it at length. I guess he was getting heat from every guy on our team to pull me. They were all saying that if they had blisters like mine they wouldn't have even gone out. They wanted Dave to pull me off, and were quite vocal about it. 2 of my guys even suited up so they'd be ready to take over for me. I've explained it to Dave like this: I have no experience "pushing through the pain". In my past, I've never really been hurt during races or even training. Well, aside from that one time. I think that I've always pussied out and stopped, so I have no idea where my limits are. I wanted this, first just because I wanted it. The weekend before Dave and I were down in Old Pueblo, and I'd had a huge victory there by doing an entire lap on my own, my longest mtn ride to date. So I wanted 2 victories in 2 weekends. Plus, our anniversary was that Saturday, so I wanted a victory on our anniversary. Dave's biggest concern was what I would be doing to my body if I continued. I guess he was so concerned at one point that he called our coach and asked for advice. She knew better - she told him it was something I had to do for me, and if I wanted to keep going I was going to. He looked at it like every minute out there represented days (possibly weeks) of recovery for something that didn't matter. As it turns out, I had some soreness on Sunday, and I had a bit of a mental breakdown Sunday. By Monday the only pain I had was from my foot. Which then makes me question my limits all over again!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

Come to find out, when the medic took off my bandage, he also ripped off a huge chunk of skin. I had no idea, I didn't even take my shoes off until we got home hours and hours later - I knew both were open and I didn't want to put flip-flops on to walk around in with open wounds. Yeah - here's the pic: In the one on the right I'm showing the border of the blister - you should be able to see how long it is. On the one on the right, that's the chunk of skin that must've come off with the moleskin when the medic helped me. My blister on my left foot sealed back down after the moleskin was removed. For the most part the blister on the right foot has too.

 

Anyway, that's my Ragnar experience, aside from tons of crude/disgusting man jokes. The gods were against me when they assigned us team number 69. It went downhill from there, and we discovered that at the first leg start early day 1. At one point they even renamed our team to Team Sweaty Ball Sack (Team SBS). Evidently the jokes got progressively worse while I was out on my legs, but they toned it down once I got back in. The guys made it something I would actually want to do again. But if that time came, I would force myself to read this and remind me. 

One of the awesome aspects of this race is the van decorating and tagging. The name of the game is to tag all the other vans with your emblem/team name/mascot while they're not around. This was some of my handiwork - pretty proud of this one:

Also my handiwork - decorating our van. We had duct tape and a big ass spider. I named him Myrtle and made him a web on our van's hood:

race report - 24 hours in old pueblo

let me preface this one by stating: i had NO IDEA what was in store. i knew that each lap was a little over 16.1 miles, that there was 1200ft of climbing per loop, and i knew there was a section called "the bitches". that's the extent of my knowledge.

going into it, we'd nailed down 4 people, so we took the 5 man team group. well, a week prior one of our teammates blew her knee. and i wasn't at all prepared, so literally the week before we were struggling to cover 2 people. we got one more, and the other never happened. which meant i had to ride.

there were all kinds of wonky rules. for instance, your teammate with the most loops couldn't have any more than 2 laps more than the teammate with the least amount of loops. which mean that dave could do no more than 4 and i had to ride 2. well, those 2 were never going to happen, so we chose to ignore the rule book quickly.

dave and i arrived on thursday, complete with 27' RV. wtf? you might say. well, you'd be right. we had NO BUSINESS driving that mofo. neither of us were qualified whatsoever. but we did it anyway.

 

the dogs loved it. they wandered back and forth along the hall. the drive down wasn't bad. we didn't take the major interstate, we stuck to the smaller 2 lane highway. it wasn't too bad to drive actually. once you get closer to OP, there's a turnoff from the highway. it's 13 miles of dirt road all the way back to the camp. and that dirt road is SHIT. we switched drivers and i drove that entire section. at one point dave just told me to go - we'd already knocked everything off all the shelves anyway. we laughed and laughed. once we got there we dismantled kelty's play pen and put it around the door to the RV so they could come in and out. they had a great time!

we set up a large camp on thursday. everyone else was arriving friday and saturday, and they take 3000 racers so we knew it'd fill quickly. it all worked out though, we ended up with plenty of room for our group. our team:

as for the race, it starts at 12 noon on saturday. dave had the lineup on his iPad, and we stuck to it for the most part. we decided that my lap would take place on sunday morning, which made for a stressful day and evening for me. ana - the other girl on our team - had very little mountain biking experience. i knew i had the technical skills to get through the course, but the 16 miles were holding me up. i didn't think i had that level of endurance in me yet. my longest mtn bike ride to date was 8-9 miles. she made it through her lap relatively unscathed - did come back with some bloodied legs due to a run-in with a rock and an asshole. her hubby came back with less skin too. mike (guy in the middle) did something to his thumb during his lap - didn't want to go out at all on sunday. dave and i were the only ones who never went down. dave went out about 1am and got in 2 back-to-back laps. he said they were nothing short of amazing. 

i'd set my alarm for 5am so i could get up and ready to get out. i knew my lap would take over 2.5 hrs, so i wanted to get it in early so my teammates could go again if they wanted. ana got out by 5am for a night lap - she got intimate with a cactus during that lap and now is known affectionately as cactus ass. the morning was a bit chilly, and it was all i could do to stand still. i'd heard everyone else come back and tell me all about the course. dave was standing next to me waiting to go out and he was trying to throw everything at me that he could remember about the course. i finally just told him that was enough. i'd be fine, i'd just go at my own pace.

so the bitches: well, they're about the width of a dirt road so plenty of room across. but they go over gas lines, and over and over and over. the ups are super steep and the downs are super down. on the 5th or 6th one at the bottom is a bit of a wash with a lip, so if you catch it wrong you'll be airborne into the next up, resulting in taco'd wheels, broken collar bones, and broken wrists. in fact glen's first skin deposit came when the guy in front of him when down at this exact spot. you come up to this section and there's a sign that says "the bitches" and points left, and another that says "skip the bitches" and points right. i knew about the bypass and planned to take it. the bypass was awesome. it went around the hills, down and then up the next hill. it was lovely single track and i had a good time. the bypass throws you back in for the last bitch, and it wasn't bad at all. 

the rest of the ride was glorious. i never stopped to walk the bike up, always made it up every climb. some of the bigger ones i'd stop at the top and drink or eat. fell into a massive underground cave when i went off trail to pee. luckily i didn't get stung or bitten by anything. 

in the last 4 miles, there's about 2 miles of climb followed by the most fun downhill i've experienced yet. dave and i pre-rode this part on friday, so i knew it was coming. getting up there was a bit tough - for sure tougher than it was on friday. it's not the easiest of downhills, it gets pretty technical right at the beginning when you have just enough speed already going to really get VERY hurt. after that the biggest obstacle are these 2 3-4ft rocks that straddle the trail - you have literally a tire width and a half to get through, and there's no "or else". you just have to make it through those. not hard going slow, but it's on a downhill so it was a bit unnerving to remember those were coming but not knowing exactly when. after i hit that and nailed it (in a good way) i just let it fly. i was already tearing up with another mile to go. dave got this shot of me right before the transition tent:

cried big tears at the end of that one. i felt like it was a huge accomplishment. hell, it was a huge accomplishment. rolling time was 2:07, clock time was 2:31. and the bitches bypass adds 0.2 to the ride, so i think i had a total distance of 16.4. 

would TOTALLY DO THIS AGAIN!!!! except next time i'll come to play. i'll be ready to do more than 2 laps. yep. i'm writing that here for accountability. done.

christmas 2012

dave and i went home for christmas this year. we were supposed to go back east, but the closer it got to december, the more it was looking like that wouldn't happen. things were really getting rough for dave at work, and he was told point blank that the final quarter rested completely on his shoulders. if they made it, it would be due to him. if they failed, it was because of him. that's awesome.

we found out the week prior we'd be able to go, so we went for it. we drove the 16 hours. on the way there we took the north route through payson and onto the 40. the drive there is always a good one because of the excitement. both dogs slept the entire way there. well, after payson they slept. before payson, there was this:

we didn't get to do the annual trip to lubbock, tx for pre-xmas shopping. we lost my grandmother over thanksgiving, and i was way sick by this point so we weren't in the cheeriest of moods as a group. one of the best parts - the dogs. just like last year, there was a pack of dogs that always end up at home for xmas. this year the pack was 8 strong, including our two. every once in awhile another 4 would join in the fun. kelty had a blast. for the second year in a row the snow came on christmas day as well, and it was the first for kelty:

i ended up having to be seen again for my cold/bronchitis. the meds i got before leaving phx weren't working anymore, and i was miserable. ended up with 2 shots in the ass and a mega antibiotic. both of which helped tremendously. on christmas eve we all went over to my dad's ex-wife's house (normal for us, it's very weird) and spent a wonderful evening with that entire side of the family. my dad got a bit tipsy and decided it was time to try on my brother-in-law's bow tie. he's not really my BIL, he's actually married to the daughter of my dad's ex-wife's husband. see. brother-in-law is close enough. anyway, here's the result:

whisk and dish towel purely for effect

dave's been wanting a new mountain bike, and he was pretty sure it was his christmas present. instead he got clothes. that one wasn't the best, but there's no way i'd buy a bike for him without his input. instead, he did this for me:

when i say this bike is amazing, i'm not even lying a bit. we picked it up when we got back and we took it for a ride around the neighborhood that night. i've since ridden the hell out of it, and it's just a dream. it's a specialized ruby which is the women's version of the roubaix. it's awesome! 

race report - 12k's of christmas

12k run - 1:54

this will be a short race report - i don't remember a lot. i do remember it sucked. a lot. i got there pretty early because i was racing alone - dave had to work. it was very cold that day, and i had lots of layers on. it was also a dog friendly race, and they were out in force. dogs EVERYWHERE. i have total ADHD around dogs and can't focus. it helped with the pre-race HR though. 

the race was shaped like a cross/t along the canal in Gilbert. the first 2 legs of the "t" were fine, and then at the start of the 3rd it started to rain. by that time i was warmed up and had shed some layers. which meant my base layers got really wet. it'd been raining all week so the course was crap, really muddy. don't remember if i held my run/walk intervals or not. i remember being VERY HAPPY to see the finish line, it was a bit of a miserable race.

what i do know is that the next day i woke up sicker than a dog. over the course of the next three weeks, i was treated for a cold, then pneumonia, then bronchitis. totally ruined my christmas in clovis, and didn't do shit for our new year's celebration either...

spinning heads

dave and i are having issues lately, but i didn't realize how many until i sat down with a friend for lunch! my head is spinning, and not set to stop for at least another month.

our vet was having a sale last month on vaccines. dave nudged me to get ours in. which meant that we had to spread out 5 vet appts over 3 weeks so that we could still afford food. everyone is healthy; our littlest cat jaxi had an issue with her vaccines. she was very lethargic and wouldn't eat/move/poo/pee/drink for a good 24 hours after. but then she returned to normal. kelty's vaccines were on hold until the parasite in her tummy was treated. that's over. we have one more vaccine now, and then she can run like a wild woman in the grass throughout the neighborhood.

as far as project baby, last month i had a cyst on the right side. had to sit out a month because the meds they give will just make cysts grow. that was a blow, but i looked at it as just not meant to be. i went back last week (one month later). yeah. now i'm growing one on the other side. even bigger this time. another setback.

since early september my asthma has been going crazy. i've not worked out in a few weeks now because i can't go outside or i end up with chest pain. i found a wonderful pulmonologist out here. she believes i have valley fever. which can get pretty nasty. she added 2 meds to my regimen about 3 weeks ago. my labwork was a bit confusing - the screener for VF said i had it, but the actual test said no. she believes that i have it, but i just don't have the antibody level to detect it yet. so i have to have blood drawn every 2 weeks until it either comes back positive or my symptoms die down. she added another 2 meds to my regimen on tuesday. i'm up to 6 meds per day so far. the problem is this: the treatment for vf is an anti fungal that's teratogenic. it causes massive birth defects and i believe can even cause a miscarriage. what's worse, i believe you have to abstain from trying for 3-6 months after treatment to ensure it's cleared your system. which means if i do have it, i'll be happy that i can finally get back out there and resume my life, but the other side of our lives will be put on hold yet again, this time for MONTHS. i have no idea what to wish for...

dave is training for IMAZ, but it's not going as well as we'd hoped. his heart rate zones for his ride are really low. long story short, it's to conserve his legs and energy for the run. which he's done a great job of the last few races, but for training rides he's miserable. that's been hard to watch, especially when i can't even ride myself. have to keep getting him to refocus on the bigger picture, not just this one little frame.

the november horror show is about to commence. i've got house cleaners lined up for 2 fridays so far, a cleaning service to come do my couches, and someone else to come clean my floors (nasty tile and grout). trying to get everything ready for the mass of people we'll be having in our house. that's not fun, and it can get to be quite stressful, but i'm dealing.

my replacement at my old job is completely massacring my job. i hear from a few sources that she's totally ignoring all the duties and is sitting on her ass everyday, thinking up ways to not do shit. that just hurts me on so many levels. it's one thing to leave a job that was perfect for you, and against your will really. it's another to have a replacement whom you knew from a previous job (and was a shitty nurse even then) come in and just trash everything you built. she's sent word to me asking me to call her at work one day. this is after she's been there for 5 months and has already been instructed by the one i replaced (for a day and a half, mind you - i spent a whole 2 hours with the same lady and managed just fine).

on a happier note, lucca was the devil and kelty was a lady bug for halloween last night! both hated it. lucca had visions of murder streaming across his eyes. kelty just tried to eat the tulle on her costume. whatevs. here's pics: