lost and gained

this week has been a tough one. the beginning of the week saw me losing my lunch, repeatedly. so much so, in fact that i was sent home from work. unknown cause, but lots of possibles crossed off.

this week also brought the loss of the father of a very dear friend of mine. he is so eloquently verbal, an amazing writer. he is logging his journey through this time, and it's incredibly hard to read. right now he and his amazing wife are across the country, making it even harder for us back home. i'm such a fixer. i have to be doing something, i like to take charge and get things done in times of crisis. this particular crisis has brought us fixers together. i've made friends with another amazing woman, who's the head haucho of fixers it seems. we've/she's come up with an actual table of people in charge of meals once they return from the east coast, covering the next week. this is stressful, because when we're in crisis mode, we don't like to eat, and we don't like company. 'we' in this case refers to me. i have a feeling they feel the same way. i worry that we'll be bombarding them with food and company when it's the last thing they will need and/or want, but we all have our own way of grieving i guess. i'm just truly blessed to be counted in this group tasked with helping them through this time, something i never even knew i could feel lucky about.

another friend is watching his mother begin another battle with cancer. he's normally a very energetic, outgoing, in-your-face kind of person, and this morning at breakfast with he and his daughter, he was downright lethargic. he doesn't ask for help, and completely shuts down in crisis time. 2 things i can't deal with. so i'm at a complete loss on how to actually help him.

the 'gained' section comes now. i've not been able to train all week. i've been hurling my socks up, or sleeping, or working. so today i knew i needed something. i didn't feel like hauling out my trainer, and i didn't feel like hitting the pool (it's pretty cool today and our pool is in the shade). so a run it was. and boy, what a run it was. they call it a breakthrough workout i believe. left me in tears at the end. i'd say that was some sort of breakthrough. in working back into running from a helluva (injured) summer, i've been doing 10/1s or 5/1s or 3/2s run/walk. today, i didn't even do a warmup, i just wanted to get straight into it. i walked this huge hill by pierce college, because, well, i'm not a total idiot. other than that, i ran. and ran and ran. it wasn't a fast one, about a minute slower than my goal pace for right now/vineman (as it stands currently), but i also have had any pure run workouts yet. i've so needed a workout like this. i love running. i love being out there, no one can bother me, i can just completely zone out and listen to my music. or think things through. or both. amazing workout. yay me.