easter fatty

so frustrated. i've been on this damn paleo diet for 6 days now. i've not cheated once. not a single time. yesterday i went out a rode a 15 mile loop, twice. i felt really good on the ride - it was somewhat challenging with a few rollers that made my HR go into the 170s, but it was obviously doable. my bike comp read 1500+ cals burned. and then i hit the scale this morning. i have a new 'heaviest weight of my life'. jesus. i haven't felt like doing much in the way of training this past week, i've been exhausted to be honest. yesterday i just knew i needed to get out there. i have a half marathon next weekend, i'm a little nervous.

my mom asked me last week what my weight is. i told her i hadn't weighed recently because i had a feeling it was over a certain number, and i didn't want to see it. after 6 days of sticking to this diet, i had a feeling it was going to be under that number and i was excited to see it. it would mean i'm finally on the right track again. i was wrong.

i'm sitting here watching 'say yes to the dress', it happens to be the obese episode. i think, 'wow these women are big.' and then i think about that number on the scale. it really can't be far from the number these girls see when they weigh.

ugh. fittingly it's raining outside. i have a 6 mile run on the books for today. i'm so discouraged at this point.

life goes on.

happy easter